Two Genuine Perspectives on Aging

There has been a substantial body of research over the past decade to support the theory that those with positive mindsets about growing older live longer than their pessimistic counterparts. A most recent Harvard study found that people who are optimistic had a greater chance of living past 85. An older study from 2002 indicated that older adults who were happy lived on average 7.5 years longer.

We recently sat down with Jack Maniloff, long-time Brickstone by St. John’s Resident, and Megan Brown, St. John’s Elder Advocate Assistant, to learn how their respective experience aligns with some of the research. Though their ages will not be disclosed to protect the innocent; it was interesting to see that despite their age difference, they share many common beliefs about growing older. There was a great deal of collective wisdom coming from the couch that sunny afternoon–so valuable for people of all ages that we could not keep it undisclosed.

Finding a Sense of Purpose

In her work with older adults, Brown has seen the value of people identifying activities that fill their life with meaning. “A big one is a sense of purpose,” says Brown, as a key ingredient to aging happily. Maniloff agrees stating that even though there are many opportunities for engagement found in the surrounding independent living community, one has to be purposefully involved. “This is a beautiful place, but you have to get up and get out and do things,” says Maniloff.

According to Maniloff, this idea of older adults “self-propelling themselves” is what distinguishes the Brickstone by St. John’s community. In fact, there are so many resident-driven clubs, discussion forums, social gatherings, outings, and fitness classes, the residents developed Connections, a small group of volunteer residents who provide an orientation to ensure new community members can successfully assimilate.  “Having a sense of community within the place that you live,” is important to fostering a positive mindset agrees Brown.

The Power of Community

“People here look after each other,” says Maniloff. From simple acts of kindness like offering a ride to the local grocery store to checking in on fellow residents when they are ill, many older adults, like Maniloff, find purpose and joy in their days by extending a helping hand. Brown has also witnessed this desire of residents wanting to help one another in her professional role. According to Brown, she was recently asked by an interested group of residents to create a “directory” of opportunities for residents who wanted to volunteer. “I thought it was incredible–this sense of community and neighbors wanting to help each other,” says Brown.

Maniloff fondly recalls a story with a similar theme about a fellow resident that was challenged by an illness that prevented this person’s annual tradition of planting a garden. According to Maniloff, residents spoke together at the weekly coffee hour about wanting to help this resident, who had bought all his plants for the garden, but due to circumstance, was unable to plant them–all the plants were sitting outside waiting to be put into the ground. Residents agreed to meet the next morning at a set time to help plant this resident’s garden. Chuckles Maniloff remembering the scene, “we had so many people show up to plant that there wasn’t enough room for us. We had to take turns planting.”

Apparently, this story is just one of many of fellow residents helping each other throughout the St. John’s communities. Maniloff says this may be because you have more opportunity to be neighborly when you are retired. “Lots of people do things to help others when they are retired. Most people are good and you have the time to help,”  Maniloff notes.

Engaging the Mind and Body

Maniloff jokes that he is “running a complicated machine with original parts,” but his advice for the younger generation is to “keep on living, keep on moving.” He says that although he recongizes that aging is a part of life, he does not sit around all day thinking about it. About how he keeps active, Maniloff says, “it just happens. You get up each day and get out of the house. You just do.”

Brown stresses the importance of not just addressing your physical fitness as part of the aging process. “Keeping your mind active can be a great tool for longevity,” she says. There are a number of programs that are offered on the St. John’s independent living campuses that help residents to stay “mentally fit.”

St. John’s has a long-standing partnership with Nazareth University, through which a class about aging is offered at St. John’s Meadows every semester for both St. John’s residents and University students. St. John’s Fisher Nursing Students also come to the community to offer a program to St. John’s residents called “Longevity Games,” which is aimed at keeping the mind active through targeted activities. These two programs, along with music performances, visiting speakers, card groups, and crafting, are some of the many “mentally-focused” opportunities available within the community.

Fears About Aging?

During our conversation, Brown was candid about some of her fears about aging. “I am nervous about the ‘what-ifs’,” says Brown, thinking about possible scenarios or circumstances in her future life. However, she admits that “You can’t really look at life that way. Like Jack says, ‘You have to keep going.'”

Brown also credits her work at St. John’s and being in the company of many residents who have a positive mindset about aging for helping to change her perspective. She laughs when she recalls a recent interaction with a group of residents who told her that she was too young to be worried about gray hairs.

“I am very thankful for my career here. It has taught me so much about what aging means and how I can prepare myself for when I am older,” says Brown. “I am a lot less scared about aging. Aging is part of life.”

Maniloff says that when you move into a community where every person is an older adult who is coping with the realities of the aging process, it is different than society at large. “All of that goes away,” he says, referring to  misconceptions about aging. “We are talking about a dynamic that is a common thread.”

Surrounded by people like himself and a myriad of options of how to fill his time, Maniloff says that deciding what to do may be the biggest question of the day. “You just find enough things of interest to do and you keep on going.”

And, one important piece of advice for healthy aging that Maniloff offers, which could also likely be beneficial to people of all ages, is to seek out human connection. “You have to talk to another human being during the day.”